TG Newsletter: ANTIPANTS - ANTIPOACHING (2024)
AntiPants - AntiPoaching
(21 January 2024)
For those that haven’t heard yet… Here it goes, I’ll explain it again for the 7th time!
AntiPants – AntiPoaching was an absurd idea from the two of us seven years ago, when we ran out of inspiration. Luckily, we had four matching unwise friends that accepted the challenge. The six of us rode through the streets of Pretoria in our undies and raised a surprisingly solid amount of cash for an antipoaching organization.
Never in our darkest days here in deep LED-lit Africa did we think there would be others similarly bonkers!
Seven years later and the group has grown to 150 bikes and around 200 scantily clad supporters.
There’s the dimpled. There’s the pimpled. There’s the freckled. There’s the heckled.
All came to support the cause, and this year the reason to come drop your pants was for cute, little, grey, 100kg darlings! If you think a little bunny is cute – you haven’t seen a 3-month-old baby rhino binky.
THE RHINO ORPHANAGE!
We contacted Arrie van Deventer and his team and they were too grateful to be the recipients of our donations. So much so, that Arrie even drove all the way down from the farm to join in the day’s bouncy bums.
The orphanage was registered as an NPO in 2012. It was the first-ever specialised, non-commercial centre dedicated to the rescue, rehabilitation, raising and release of orphaned rhinos back into the wild.
Our start point was Huckleberry’s Café in Magnolia Dell.
This year we were a bit more organized with friends and family that stepped in, pulled down, and swiped left. People could buy tickets for coffee/tea and breakfast; and collect their limited-edition pre-paid t-shirts at the ‘reception’ gazebo.
Most important was getting donations. FOCUS! The day was about the rhinos’ horns – NOT OURS!
As the parking lot filled up, you could see small groups of people dancing… strip dancing. Peeps hopped around off-beat on one leg, with flailing arms and pants seen flying through the air.
And boy, did the people put in extra effort this year! Custom made onderbroeke, hand-painted t-shirts, horn-adorned helmets, rhino inspired boneys.
We want to say she’s the face of AntiPants, but Valerie is definitely better known as THE BODY! Valerie and her friend, Esmeralde, each year don their bestest stringy-thingies. These ladies hang it all out for rhino conservation.
Valerie also rent out space on her petite tooshie for two stickers; in exchange for a donation of course. There’s a reason why it’s called a plakker.
After a quick LOWdown, everybody rolled up their horns, tucked them under the arms, and started the mass run to…
Coffee@Capital in Capital Park
Emmarentia and her team can steam up a kitchen, ek sê! For a little suburban restaurant, they popped out 150 smackalicious burgers and chips. You had to sit down for that one!
And then there was the customary human pile-on. Flesh heaped onto flesh with elbows pressing against ribs, and hairy knees denting buttocks. Who came up with this idea? Oh… wait…
It was midday and by this time the was sun was rolling straight up and burning holes in fake leather bike seats. Did you know that fake leather bike seats rival the sizzling temperatures of tomato slices in braaibroodjies? Rumps were fried and thighs were glowing as blood red as Pommy-skin under African skies.
Skinny confessed… She lost the plot. Her directions said to go West but her mind wandered South. The group got split and more of Pretoria’s burbs got the opportunity to view pink legged bikers revving through the streets.
But all ended up at the group-photo landing strip, you know… to stretch a ‘leg’.
We checked out each other’s BMWs, butts and side boobs before we legged it out of there.
A short fast sprint to our last stop…
Mulligans Pub And Restaurant
All we can say is...
“The Asian market… don’t know what we know.”
We met up with Arrie and he was overwhelmed by the support. The place was packed like sardines in a flat tin. It was a bedekte seën (pun intended) that the people weren’t wearing clothes. There would just NOT be enough space!!!
Ryan Burnwood was gooi-ing tjunes, while everybody topped up (again… the puns!) getting ready for the auction.
We had some amazing items up for grabs; from hand-crafted African souvenir rhinos, soft toys, a pair of rhino behinds as photographed by Chikita, a print of the very first baby rhino orphan that Arrie rescued (Skinny grabbed this one and ran – tȋts flying!).
Jaco Potgieter came out all the way from Upington to run the auction for us. Jaco was born with a bar of soap in his mouth, things just slip out! The smaller items were but a wee warm-up for Jaco. So, by the time he got to the bigger items he raised the wallets, the temperature, Arrie’s heartbeat, a few eyebrows and a small fortune!
Mabalingwe Game Reserve
Gave up two stay-overs (a two-night mid-week; and a two-night weekend)
Out Of Africa Lodge
Gave up a two-nighter that old soapy-mouth auctioned off for a sixer (dankie Melanie for understanding)
The Rhino Orphanage
The cherry on the rhinoceros’ horn was a weekend at the orphanage, spending time with the little calves – feeding them, playing with them, k@k shovelling heaps of baby poep, and just generally loving and learning all about young pachyderms over the run of two days.
Janine Peck dropped a few thousand for this once in a life time opportunity. And we literally mean ONCE in a lifetime. With the current statistics we might still be here when the last rhino takes his last breath – if we don’t do something to save our African unicorns!!!
Draconians MC blew us away when they handed over little Ronnie, a las-lappie rhino toy. But Ronnie was on the heavy side?!? The whole club had collected all their R5 coins throughout the year and sewed it safely into his tummy! Guys!!! I didn’t put waterproof mascara on that morning, what the heck!
After the auction it was time for the Tank Girls to let their hair down after months of organization. We don’t have enough thank-you’s to go around because you gave us more than we could ever give you.
The total amount collected and donated to The Rhino Orphanage:
R70 385-42
You people! You people are special!
Thank you for joining yet another successful AntiPants ride. Thank you for giving your pants a day off from work. Thank you for caring enough. Thank you!
Every time you hear that sound, it cuts through your soul. It’s like a knife that goes through your heart. To think that another little baby rhino is without a mother… another wonderful animal that got killed. We are one step closer to the extinction of one of the proudest and most wonderful species on this planet.
Arrie van Deventer (The Rhino Orphanage Founder)
Special mention:
Edgar Hibbert, that was a passionate supporter of the AntiPants run each year, is running our event up in heaven now. In memory of Edgar, the Cradle Moon Lakeside Game Lodge has named one of their little rhino calves after him. Edgar, always in our hearts
Special thanks to the photographers:
Hannelie van Schalkwyk
Johan Moorcroft
SPONSORS & SPECIALS:
Sponsored by Daniel Mulder Distributors (DMD) www.dmd.co.za
Forma Boots (www.formaboots.com)
Caberg Helmets (www.caberg.it)
Oxford Products (www.oxfordproducts.com)
Givi (www.givi.ite)
Answer Racing (www.answerracing.com)
Off Road Cycles (www.offroadcycles.co.za)
Hero Motorcycles South Africa (www.heromotorcycles.co.za)
2M Lazy Lowder (www.2mtrailers.co.za)
Blink King (www.blingkingbikes.co.za)
PaintAbike by Phil Privett (www.instagram.com/paintabikesa)
HONESTY NEWSLETTER!
If you’ve never dropped us an honesty donation… shame! But let’s look past that and you go make a donation this month. Cause the Tank Girls will re-donate all the donations for this month’s newsletter to The Rhino Orphanage.
If you’re familiar with the rural concept of the honesty bar, this honesty newsletter ain’t much different... I’m a completely un-paid journalist, relying instead on readers using the honour system. You read the newsletter and then leave an amount you see fit for the entertainment you’ve received.
If you don’t find it particularly amusing, then you fork out NO dosh. I won’t stop sending you the letter – it is still mahala to those that count their coins and... I love sharing my stories.
As requested by my overseas readers, you can donate to this newsletter on my PayPal account:
OR...
You can do an EFT transfer to the account below.
Not on our watch!
Skinny & Chikita
Instagram: @skinnyvanschalkwyk
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